Michael Bolton - Jack Sparrow

[Intercom] Guys Michael Bolton is here.
[Andy] Oh great, send him in.
[Michael] Hey, guys.
[All] Hey thanks for coming.
[Andy] How’s it goin’?
[Michael] I’m really sorry I’m late
I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon
Have you seen those things?
[All] Oh yeah, those are great.
[Michael] Well I listened to your track and I loved it
And I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you’re gonna really dig.
[Andy] Oh wow, that’s great. You wanna just lay it down?
[Michael] Boys let's get to it (to it, to it, to it)

[Andy)
Here we go
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (yeah)
The night starts now on track
The boys are back, the night starts now
The night starts now, baby, roll with us
Chickies snappin’ at the neck when we rollin’ up (rollin’up)
Club front doors ain’t no holdin’ up
Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck (come on)

[Jorma]
It’s The Lonely Island, welcome to the set
Some fellas lookin’ jealous
Play that back and get wet (yeah, yeah)
At my waist shank in my sock
You either get cut get stuffed or get shot

[Michael]
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow
Pirate so brave on the seven seas (what?)
A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze

[Akiva]
Yeah, that was kinda weird but we’re back in the club
Buyin’ out the bar so the groupies show us love (Keira Knightley)
A fifth of ice man, I’m the top gunna, heater on blast
I’m the number one stunna (Jack Sparrow)

[ANDY]
Watch your girl because I ain’t your mister nice guy
More like the meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy (yeah, yeah)
All dressed up with nowhere to run
I know I make you feel crazy when I
(Now back to the good part)

[MICHAEL]
One day he was born
He yearned for adventure (no)
Oh Captain Jack (yeah)
Can remind what's gone
He’s the pauper of the surf
The jester of Tortuga
But in Davy Jones locker
What lies in store

[Andy]
Yeah, we’ve seen the movie
Put your hands in the air
And say hell yeah [Michael]
Captain Jack (what?)
Johnny Depp (no)

[Jorma]
From the front to the back
Saying we count stacks c’mon

[Michael]
Davy Jones (nope)
Giant squid (wrong)

[Akiva]
Michael Bolton, we’re really gonna need you to focus up

[Michael]
Roger that let me try it with another film (wait)
Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (not better)
Though I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed
I give Jenny all my love (come on)

Okay, then I’m a legal aid
Erin Brockovich is just my name (oh god)
Then you can call me Scarface
Snortin’ mountains of cocaine (it doesn’t matter)

You cockroaches wanna play rough
Okay, I’m reloaded, haha

This is the tale of Tony Montana
This is the tale, cool and out flame, with Miami nuts
European wife, your coke is polluted
This whole town’s a pussy, just waiting to get fucked
Just waiting to get fucked

Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
You complete me
Yeah, yeah okay