Cats - The Ad-dressing Of Cats

The Jellicle Ball has come to a conclusion, but first
Old Deuteronomy instructs the human spectators in the
ad-dressing of cats. And thus ends the annual celebration
of cats!
OLD DUTERONOMY:
You`ve heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character

You`ve learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You`ve seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I`ll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog

ALL:
So first, your memory I`ll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog

OLD DUTERONOMY:
With cats, some say, one rule is true
Don`t speak `til you are spoken to

Myself I do not hold with that
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form "O Cat!"


Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream

And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He`s sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name

A cat`s entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there`s how you ad-dress a cat

ALL:
A cat`s entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there`s how you ad-dress a cat!

[CURTAIN]