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Eddie Harold used a tape recorder When he had one of his girlfriends over He didn't want to miss a single scream His friends all laughed when he played it later You had to wonder, did he really hate her? Girls always made him nervous, that's to blame And makin' love was just a crazy game Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, oh yeah Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, oh yeah In her apartment was a plastic altar She'd light a candle when her courage faltered Sometimes the world got a little hard to bear It wasn't easy living in the city She wasn't clever and she wasn't pretty She chanted in the night but no one cared Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, mmm hmm Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, oh yeah yeah Freddie's wife became a topless dancer Had bondage parties with a Turkish bouncer She's been evicted, the police have got her car She tried to sell an antique shotgun She said she knows some crazy guy who wants one Her parents said "You're not our daughter, you're a whore It's over and you don't live here anymore" Woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, oh yeah Woodwork squeaks and "Strangers In The Night" Woodwork squeaks and "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" We're talkin' 'bout Woodwork squeaks and "Shadow of Your Smile" Ooh, we're talkin' 'bout Woodwork squeaks and "Take the Last Train To Clarksville" Mmm, ahh, woodwork squeaks and out come the freaks, oh
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