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Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet Next comes the part that I won't ever forget Now I'm bein' followed by these Russian spies They give me some velcro, and an order of fries Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise I fall down a hole and that's when I realize I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night All right! Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door And I'm back in the very same place I was before Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night And I can't bust out and I can't break free And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me And I can't go home and I can't get loose And I try to escape but it's just no use And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in And I can't go back and I can't get through But Vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you Come on Vanna, come on! Ow, buhhh Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again That's right, I even wake up screaming now and then See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address I'm half an hour late for my algebra test Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White Stuck in a closet with Vanna White N-n-n-night after night after night night night Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya) I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White Night after night after night after night I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya) I am stuck in a closet with Vanna White
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