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[JOANNE]
Mark?

[MARK]
Hi.

[JOANNE]
I told her not to call you

[MARK]
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here

[JOANNE]
I hired an engineer ...

[MARK]
Great!
Well, nice to have met you

[JOANNE]
Wait!
She's three hours late

The samples won't delay
But the cable --

[MARK]
There's another way
Say something -- anything

[JOANNE]
Test -- one, two three --

[MARK]
Anything but that

[JOANNE]
This is weird

[MARK]
It's weird

[JOANNE]
Very weird

[MARK]
Fuckin' weird

[JOANNE]
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

[MARK]
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

[JOANNE]
As a matter of fact --

[MARK]
Honey, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Maureen'
The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

[JOANNE]
You're wrong

[MARK]
Your heart she is mangling

[JOANNE]
It's different with me

[MARK]
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

[JOANNE]
I think I know what you mean

[BOTH]
The Tango Maureen

[MARK]
Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'

[JOANNE]
Never

[MARK]
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

[JOANNE]
This is spooky
Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

[MARK]
Every time -- so be cautious

[JOANNE]
Did she moon over other boys --?

[MARK]
More than moon --

[JOANNE]
I'm getting nauseous

[MARK]
Where'd you learn to tango?

[JOANNE]
With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm 
room at Miss Porter's. And you?

[MARK]
With Nanette Himmelfarb. The Rabbi's daughter at the 
Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.

It's hard to do this backwards.

[JOANNE]
You should try it in heels!
She cheated

[MARK]
She cheated

[JOANNE]
Maureen cheated

[MARK]
Fuckin' cheated

[JOANNE]
I'm defeated
I should give up right now

[MARK]
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

[JOANNE]
I'd fall for her still anyhow

[BOTH]
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Make you fall

[MARK]
So you think, 'Might as well'

[JOANNE]
"Dance a tango to hell"

[BOTH]
'At least I'll have tangoed at all'
The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end -- you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you're glum and you bum
And turn blue

[MARK]
Why do we love when she's mean?

[JOANNE]
And she can be so obscene

[MARK]
Try the mike

[JOANNE]
My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...)

[MARK]
Patched

[JOANNE]
Thanks

[MARK]
You know -- I feel great now!

[JOANNE]
I feel lousy

Honey, we're... [pause] Pookie?! 
You never call me Pookie... 
Forget it, we're patched.

[BOTH]

The Tango Maureen!

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