Sarah Michelle Gellar - I'll Never Tell

Anya:
This is the man
That I plan to entangle
Isn`t he fine?
My claim to fame
Was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I`m out of the biz
The name I made I`ll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I`ll never tell
Xander:
She is the one
She`s such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night
When I`m right in her tight..
Embrace, tight embrace!
I`ll never let her go
The love we`ve known can only grow
There`s just one thing that - no
I`ll never tell
Xander and Anya:
`Cause there`s nothing to tell
Anya:
He snores
Xander:
She wheezes
Anya:
Say `housework` and he freezes
Xander:
She eats these skeezy cheeses
That I can`t describe
Anya:
I talk
He breezes
Xander:
She doesn`t know what `please` is
Anya:
His penis got diseases
From a Chumash tribe
Xander and Anya:
The vibe gets kind of scary
Xander:
Like she thinks I`m ordinary
Anya:
Like it`s all just temporary
Xander:
Like her toes are kind of hairy
Xander and Anya:
But it`s all very well
`Cause god knows, I`ll never tell
Anya:
When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his Buffy
Now look - he`s gettin` huffy
`Cause he knows that I know
Xander:
She clings
She`s needy
She`s also really greedy
She never --
Anya:
His eyes are beady
Xander:
This is my verse! Hello?
She --
(tempo changes, Anya dances)
Anya: (spoken)
Look at me! I`m dancin` - crazy!
(Xander joins in - dance break continues)
Xander and Anya:
You know
Xander:
You`re quite the charmer
Anya:
My knight in armor
Xander:
You`re the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple..
Tight embrace!
(dance break - fast then slow)
Anya:
He`s swell
Xander:
She`s sweller
Anya:
He`ll always be my feller
Xander:
That`s why I`ll never tell her
That I`m petrified
Anya:
I`ve read this tale
There`s wedding, then betrayal
I know that come the day
I`ll want to run and hide
Anya and Xander:
I lied
I said it`s easy
I`ve tried
But there`s these fears I can`t quell
Xander:
Is she looking
For a pot of gold?
Anya:
Will I look good
When I`ve gotten old?
Xander:
Will our lives become too stressful
If I`m never that successful?
Anya:
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley?
Xander:
Am I crazy?
Anya:
Am I dreamin`?
Xander:
Am I marrying a demon?
Xander and Anya:
We could really raise the beam
In makin` marriage a hell
So thank god, I`ll never tell
I swear that I`ll never tell
Xander:
My lips are sealed
Anya:
I take the fifth
Xander:
Nothin` to see
Move it along
Xander and Anya:
I`ll never...
Tell!